APRIL FOOL: A Birthday Affirmation

I am an April fool.

It’s good to be me
I’m happy no one’s called Child Protective Services on me yet.
I’m happy that I don’t have an iPod,
I listen to Public Enemy on cassette. I’m thankful.
There’s lot’s about life I like.

I like opening my utility bill and comparing it to last years bill, I like year over year percentage reductions.

I like walking everywhere, and shaking my fist at drivers on their cell phones, not all drivers, just old ladies who I know I can take.

I like not liking the Internets.

I like San Francisco. I’m a few blocks away from where Jimi and Janice lived, and the Grateful Dead. I can feel their energy, I can. I like that.

I like talking like a hippie.

I like a nice hoppy IPA.

I like the looks of old Chinese people.

I like going to PTA meetings, to get in some good mommy watching.

I like it when my son calls me “asshole”.

I like to call my Grandma and talk about the good old days.

I like to listen to NPR while I sleep.

I like to pluck leaves of lavender, rub them on my shirt then stick them in my pockets. – I like smelling like a girl.

I like abandoning my pride, and contemplating my cosmic insignificance.

I like dressing the same way as my seven year old, and cutting my own hair, and making art from cat food cans.

I like to hug with one arm only.

I like waiting until the last minute to do something I’ve been dreading, and then when it’s done I like to think “That wasn’t so bad.”

I like to work on the floor,
in lotus position. I can wait until I get back to a 9 to 5 - so I can be that weird guy who doesn’t have a desk, sits on the floor, and reeks of lavender.

I like to take home discarded items I’ve found on the sidewalk, and the hairy eyeball Jen gives me when she comes home.

I like to greet a person with an enthusiastic “Hey You”, when I’ve forgotten their name.

I like when my kids use the effin word.

I like making economic models, and playing with them in my head.

I like doing Yoga while listening to rap music, so that I can be both relaxed and agitated.

Mostly, I like all the people in this world I’ve known, those who’ve understood me, those I’ve allowed myself to understand, and all the rest with whom I’ve been unable to connect – because disconnects are nice things too.

Thank you World, from this April fool.