Worry

Worry

I’m hella worried
Worried all the time
About serious shit
Global Warming,
War, Poverty,
Injustice, AIDS,
Social Security

My last statement says
I’m gonna to get about $339 a month
Which will hopefully be enough
for a can of soup and a dirty magazine
But probably not

Obama,
the Media
How my kids will grow up
How much of a bastard they will think I am
If my kids will grow up

Will Jen die before me
And if so will I be attractive enough to get a girlfriend
And if so will she have really let herself go

Will I before Jen, more likely,
And who will she find to update her website
Or throw a hot dog down her hallway

I’m worried about the markets
The stock market,

the bond market, the oil market,
That little market down the street with the super cheap bananas
How do Chinese people make everything so cheap?
This concerns me.

Cancers.
All kinds.
Brain cancer, Bone cancer,
Lung cancer, breast cancer, ass cancer, all of them,
I worry about them cause my doctor

won't describe to me what they feel like
So every unidentified sensation

given off by my body feels like one
The way unrecognizable tastes taste like chicken,

Back cancer.

I worry about work, do my clients like me, do they hate me,
Do they think I’m arrogant

yet have resigned themselves to dealing with me
Do I hate them, Am I

undervalued, overvalued, invaluable, irrelevant,
And when will we all find out.

My wife's work, will she get fired, or quit,
Or stay there forever miserable and undervalued, or overvalued.
Am I an asshole for making her work so hard
so that I can stay home and worry.

Plastics, HDPEs and PEPs,
Benzenes and styrenes and poly chlorinated biphenyls
Lead, Mercury, Radon, Arsenic, Selenium

Will I be hit by a bus?

Or an SUV
Or be that guy pinned by a subway train,
What will I do those last moments,
I don’t have a camera phone to look at my kids.

Blood parasites.

I’m worried that God had some higher purpose for me
And that said purpose had nothing to do with beer
And how sore she’ll be at me
And why worry,

I know rationally,
But maybe just maybe

I am inoculating myself.

Hep C.

Or maybe since the future

has never once conformed to my visions
That it never will –

I must explore the entire landscape of future calamity
Lest that unthought-of peril befall me

Zombies.